TIME OUT FLOW CHART

Command--------5 Seconds---------Compliance= PRAISE----------------5 Seconds--------------

Non-Compliance= IF / THEN


----------Compliance= PRAISE
----------Non-Compliance= TIME OUT---------------------REPEAT ORIGINAL REQUEST

WEEK 9

Time Out

"Discipline Strategies for children Disobedience and Hitting or Distructive Behaviours"


Notes About Time Out

• Be polite
• Be prepared for testing
• Monitor anger in order to avoid exploding suddenly; give warnings
• Give five minute Time Outs with 2 minutes silence at the end
• Carefully limit the number of behaviours for which Time Out is used and use consistently
• Use Time Out consistently for chosen misbehaviuors
• Don't threaten Time Out unless you're prepared to follow through
• ignore child while in Time Out
• Use nonviolent approaches such as loss of privileges as a back-up to Time Out
• Follow through with completing Time Out
• Hold children responsible for cleaning messes in Time Out
• Support a partner's use of Time Out
• Don't rely exclusively on Time Out- combine with other discipline techniques, such as, ignoring, logical consequences and problem-solving
• Expect repeated learning trials
• Build up bank account with praise, love and support
• Use personal Time Out to relax and refuel energy
• Use Time Out for destructive behaviors and times when your child's misbehavior cannot be ignored. Start by choosing just one behavior to work on. When that behavior is no longer a problem, choose another behavior to work on
• Give immediate Time Out for hitting and destructive acts, however for non-compliance one warning may be given
• Ignore inapproprate behaviors such as screaming, whining, teasing, arguing, swearing and tantrums
• Praise positive behavior as often as possible

Home Activities For The Week

1) PRAISE your child for complying with commands

2) CHOOSE an appropiate and safe place for Time Out

3) EXPLAIN to your child how Time Out works and when it will be used

4) RECORD an example of how you used Time Out this week

Read the book

Week 8

Effective Limit Setting

"Decreasing Annoying Behaviours"

NOTES ABOUT IGNORING:

• Avoid eye contact and discussion while ignoring.
• Physically move away from your child but stay in the room if possible
• Be subtle in the way you ignore
• Be prepared for testing
• Be consistent
• Return your attention as soon as misbehavior stops
• Combine distractions with ignoring
• Choose specific child behaviors to ignore and make sure they are ones you can ignore
• Limit the number og behaviors to systematically ignore
• Give attention to your child's positive behaviors

Don't for get about your household rules, put them some where, where all the family can see them and explain about the rules to your child.

Home Activities For The Week

1. Red the number of commands you give to those that are most important

Ignore inappropiate responses
Avoid arguing
Use distraction
Praise for compliance

2. Write down some examples of your commands. Record how your child reacts and how you respond.

3. Speask to a friend or email me to discuss your ideas about 'Time Out'.

Continue to read the book

Remember To Keep Playing With Your Child

Remember:

I CAN DO IT
I CAN COPE WITH THIS
I CAN STAY CALM
I AM DOING MY BEST
I CAN WORK HARD AS A PARENT

Keep saying this over and over to yourself and remember to stay positive.

Week 7

Effective Limit Setting

"The impoetance of being clear, Predictable, and Positive"

Notes About Limit Setting

• Don't give unnecessary commands.
• Give one command at a time.
• Be realistic in your expectation and use age-appropiate commands.
• Use "do" commands.
• Make commands positive and polite.
• Don't use "stop" commands.
• Give Children ample opportunity to comply.
• Give warnings and helpful reminders.
• Don't threaten children; use "when-then" commands.
• Give children options whenever possible.
• Make commands short and to the point.
• Support your partner's commands.
• Praise compliance or provise consequences for noncompliance.
• Strike a balance between parent and child control.
• Encourage problem-solving with children.

Clear Commands

"Walk slowly "Please go to bed"

"Keep your hands to your self" "Tell your father about it"

"Talk softly" "Keep the paint on the paper"

"Play quietly" "Wash your hands"

"Come home" "Set the table"

"Colour in black" "Make your bed"

"Please put the clothes away"

Unclear, Vague, Or Negative Commands

"Let's put the toys away" "Wouldn't it be nice to go to bed now?"

"Why don't we go to bed now?" "Hand me the bread, will you?"

"Don't tell" "Be nice, be good, be careful!"

"Shut up" "Watch it"

"Stop running" "Let's not do that anymore"

HOUSEHOLD RULES

Some Examples:

1. Bedtime is at 7:30 p.m.

2. No hitting or teasing allowed.

3. A seat belt must always be warn in the car.

4. Bicycle riding is only allowed on the sidewalk, not in the street.

Make A List Of Your Househols Rules:

Every home needs a limited number of "house rules." If the list gets too long, no one will remember the rules.

Home Activities For The Week

1) Reduce the number of commands you give to those that are most important.
When commands are needed, make them POSITIVE AND SPECIFIC.
Avoid Question and Vague Commands, Such as Let's.


2) Record the types of commands you give at home for 30 minutes, and write down the children's responce.


3) PRAISE your child when every time they comply with a command.


4) Think of some household rules that are important.


Read The Book.

The Incredible Years

The Incredible Years
A Trouble-Shooting Guide for Parents of Children Aged 2-8 Years.

This is what the back of the book says:

FULLY REVISED WITH NEW CHAPTERS
that focus on promoting your child's social and emotional competence and ways to help your child be successful in school.

"If parents are confident for inevitable and pitfalls, there will be room for flexibility, whimsy, and creativity."

"The evidence is now beyond dispute. If parents want their children to be successful socially and academically at school, the most important thing they can do is to collaborate with teachers and strive to maintain regular and effective communication."

All children misbehave for a variety of reasons, sometimes simply to test how far they can go to get the attention they crave. Other children are temperamentally more difficult to parent than others because they are impulsive, hyperactive, inattentive or delayed in some aspect of their development. This invaluable handbook provides parents with guidelines not only to help prevent behavior problems form occurring but also with strategies to promote children's social, emotional and academic competence.

NEW CHAPTERS

• How to help your child learn to regulate emotions, make friends and cope with peer problems;
• How to partner with your child's teacher to promote social and academic success;
• How to promote your child's school readiness through interactive reading and child-directed play coaching;
• How to teach social skills to a child who is fearful and shy as well as a child who is hyperactive, impulsive, and inattentive.

DR. CAROLYN WEBSTER-STRATTON is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor and director of the Parenting Clinic at the University of Washington. She is the recipient of the prestigious National Mental Health Research Scientist Award. This book is based on her 25 years of research with over 3000 families. She has published numerous books, chapters and scientific articles concerning treatment of aggression in young children.
Dr. Webster-Stratton lives in Seattle with her husband John; her two children, Seth age 21 and Anna age 18, are in college.

www.incredibleyears.com

I have read this book and I found it very helpful and would recommend it to anyone. You can buy this book from www.amazon.co.uk

Week 6

Using Tangible Reward Programs to Teach your Child New Behaviours.

"Motivating Your Children"

1) You need to carry on playing and spending time with your children. INCREASING the number of PRAISES you give.

2) KEEP working on your chart or sticker program

3) if your child is having problems in school, set up a program that includes rewards for 'good behaviour' in school. (talk to your child's teacher about it you will get feedback)

PRACTICE PRAISING SELF AND OTHERS

• Send a note to your child's teacher telling what you like about your child's classroom and learning experiences.

AND/OR

• Praise another parent or family member
• Give yourself a compliment

EXAMPLES OF BEHAVIORS TO REWARD WITH STARS AND STICKERS:

• Getting dressed before the timer goes off
• Eating food on the plate before the timer goes off
• Making it through the night without wetting the bed
• Arriving at home bt 4:30 p.m
• Making the bed in the morning
• Not teasing siblings for an hour
• Going to bed without arguing
• Complying with a request
• Sharing with others
• Doing homework before dinner
• Reading for 10 minutes
• Turning off the TV
• Watching only 1 hour of TV
• Setting the table

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

If children live with criticism - they learn to condemn
If children live with hostility - they learn to fight
If children live with ridicule - they learn to be shy
If children live with shame - they learn to feel guilty
If children live with tolerance - they learn to be patient
If children live with encouragement - they learn confidence
If children live with praise - they learn to appreciate
If children live with fairness - they learn justice
If children live with security - they learn faith
If children live with approval - they learn to like themselves
If children live with acceptance and friendship - they learn to love the world

Our children learn from us.