TIME OUT FLOW CHART

Command--------5 Seconds---------Compliance= PRAISE----------------5 Seconds--------------

Non-Compliance= IF / THEN


----------Compliance= PRAISE
----------Non-Compliance= TIME OUT---------------------REPEAT ORIGINAL REQUEST

WEEK 9

Time Out

"Discipline Strategies for children Disobedience and Hitting or Distructive Behaviours"


Notes About Time Out

• Be polite
• Be prepared for testing
• Monitor anger in order to avoid exploding suddenly; give warnings
• Give five minute Time Outs with 2 minutes silence at the end
• Carefully limit the number of behaviours for which Time Out is used and use consistently
• Use Time Out consistently for chosen misbehaviuors
• Don't threaten Time Out unless you're prepared to follow through
• ignore child while in Time Out
• Use nonviolent approaches such as loss of privileges as a back-up to Time Out
• Follow through with completing Time Out
• Hold children responsible for cleaning messes in Time Out
• Support a partner's use of Time Out
• Don't rely exclusively on Time Out- combine with other discipline techniques, such as, ignoring, logical consequences and problem-solving
• Expect repeated learning trials
• Build up bank account with praise, love and support
• Use personal Time Out to relax and refuel energy
• Use Time Out for destructive behaviors and times when your child's misbehavior cannot be ignored. Start by choosing just one behavior to work on. When that behavior is no longer a problem, choose another behavior to work on
• Give immediate Time Out for hitting and destructive acts, however for non-compliance one warning may be given
• Ignore inapproprate behaviors such as screaming, whining, teasing, arguing, swearing and tantrums
• Praise positive behavior as often as possible

Home Activities For The Week

1) PRAISE your child for complying with commands

2) CHOOSE an appropiate and safe place for Time Out

3) EXPLAIN to your child how Time Out works and when it will be used

4) RECORD an example of how you used Time Out this week

Read the book

Week 8

Effective Limit Setting

"Decreasing Annoying Behaviours"

NOTES ABOUT IGNORING:

• Avoid eye contact and discussion while ignoring.
• Physically move away from your child but stay in the room if possible
• Be subtle in the way you ignore
• Be prepared for testing
• Be consistent
• Return your attention as soon as misbehavior stops
• Combine distractions with ignoring
• Choose specific child behaviors to ignore and make sure they are ones you can ignore
• Limit the number og behaviors to systematically ignore
• Give attention to your child's positive behaviors

Don't for get about your household rules, put them some where, where all the family can see them and explain about the rules to your child.

Home Activities For The Week

1. Red the number of commands you give to those that are most important

Ignore inappropiate responses
Avoid arguing
Use distraction
Praise for compliance

2. Write down some examples of your commands. Record how your child reacts and how you respond.

3. Speask to a friend or email me to discuss your ideas about 'Time Out'.

Continue to read the book

Remember To Keep Playing With Your Child

Remember:

I CAN DO IT
I CAN COPE WITH THIS
I CAN STAY CALM
I AM DOING MY BEST
I CAN WORK HARD AS A PARENT

Keep saying this over and over to yourself and remember to stay positive.

Week 7

Effective Limit Setting

"The impoetance of being clear, Predictable, and Positive"

Notes About Limit Setting

• Don't give unnecessary commands.
• Give one command at a time.
• Be realistic in your expectation and use age-appropiate commands.
• Use "do" commands.
• Make commands positive and polite.
• Don't use "stop" commands.
• Give Children ample opportunity to comply.
• Give warnings and helpful reminders.
• Don't threaten children; use "when-then" commands.
• Give children options whenever possible.
• Make commands short and to the point.
• Support your partner's commands.
• Praise compliance or provise consequences for noncompliance.
• Strike a balance between parent and child control.
• Encourage problem-solving with children.

Clear Commands

"Walk slowly "Please go to bed"

"Keep your hands to your self" "Tell your father about it"

"Talk softly" "Keep the paint on the paper"

"Play quietly" "Wash your hands"

"Come home" "Set the table"

"Colour in black" "Make your bed"

"Please put the clothes away"

Unclear, Vague, Or Negative Commands

"Let's put the toys away" "Wouldn't it be nice to go to bed now?"

"Why don't we go to bed now?" "Hand me the bread, will you?"

"Don't tell" "Be nice, be good, be careful!"

"Shut up" "Watch it"

"Stop running" "Let's not do that anymore"

HOUSEHOLD RULES

Some Examples:

1. Bedtime is at 7:30 p.m.

2. No hitting or teasing allowed.

3. A seat belt must always be warn in the car.

4. Bicycle riding is only allowed on the sidewalk, not in the street.

Make A List Of Your Househols Rules:

Every home needs a limited number of "house rules." If the list gets too long, no one will remember the rules.

Home Activities For The Week

1) Reduce the number of commands you give to those that are most important.
When commands are needed, make them POSITIVE AND SPECIFIC.
Avoid Question and Vague Commands, Such as Let's.


2) Record the types of commands you give at home for 30 minutes, and write down the children's responce.


3) PRAISE your child when every time they comply with a command.


4) Think of some household rules that are important.


Read The Book.

The Incredible Years

The Incredible Years
A Trouble-Shooting Guide for Parents of Children Aged 2-8 Years.

This is what the back of the book says:

FULLY REVISED WITH NEW CHAPTERS
that focus on promoting your child's social and emotional competence and ways to help your child be successful in school.

"If parents are confident for inevitable and pitfalls, there will be room for flexibility, whimsy, and creativity."

"The evidence is now beyond dispute. If parents want their children to be successful socially and academically at school, the most important thing they can do is to collaborate with teachers and strive to maintain regular and effective communication."

All children misbehave for a variety of reasons, sometimes simply to test how far they can go to get the attention they crave. Other children are temperamentally more difficult to parent than others because they are impulsive, hyperactive, inattentive or delayed in some aspect of their development. This invaluable handbook provides parents with guidelines not only to help prevent behavior problems form occurring but also with strategies to promote children's social, emotional and academic competence.

NEW CHAPTERS

• How to help your child learn to regulate emotions, make friends and cope with peer problems;
• How to partner with your child's teacher to promote social and academic success;
• How to promote your child's school readiness through interactive reading and child-directed play coaching;
• How to teach social skills to a child who is fearful and shy as well as a child who is hyperactive, impulsive, and inattentive.

DR. CAROLYN WEBSTER-STRATTON is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor and director of the Parenting Clinic at the University of Washington. She is the recipient of the prestigious National Mental Health Research Scientist Award. This book is based on her 25 years of research with over 3000 families. She has published numerous books, chapters and scientific articles concerning treatment of aggression in young children.
Dr. Webster-Stratton lives in Seattle with her husband John; her two children, Seth age 21 and Anna age 18, are in college.

www.incredibleyears.com

I have read this book and I found it very helpful and would recommend it to anyone. You can buy this book from www.amazon.co.uk

Week 6

Using Tangible Reward Programs to Teach your Child New Behaviours.

"Motivating Your Children"

1) You need to carry on playing and spending time with your children. INCREASING the number of PRAISES you give.

2) KEEP working on your chart or sticker program

3) if your child is having problems in school, set up a program that includes rewards for 'good behaviour' in school. (talk to your child's teacher about it you will get feedback)

PRACTICE PRAISING SELF AND OTHERS

• Send a note to your child's teacher telling what you like about your child's classroom and learning experiences.

AND/OR

• Praise another parent or family member
• Give yourself a compliment

EXAMPLES OF BEHAVIORS TO REWARD WITH STARS AND STICKERS:

• Getting dressed before the timer goes off
• Eating food on the plate before the timer goes off
• Making it through the night without wetting the bed
• Arriving at home bt 4:30 p.m
• Making the bed in the morning
• Not teasing siblings for an hour
• Going to bed without arguing
• Complying with a request
• Sharing with others
• Doing homework before dinner
• Reading for 10 minutes
• Turning off the TV
• Watching only 1 hour of TV
• Setting the table

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

If children live with criticism - they learn to condemn
If children live with hostility - they learn to fight
If children live with ridicule - they learn to be shy
If children live with shame - they learn to feel guilty
If children live with tolerance - they learn to be patient
If children live with encouragement - they learn confidence
If children live with praise - they learn to appreciate
If children live with fairness - they learn justice
If children live with security - they learn faith
If children live with approval - they learn to like themselves
If children live with acceptance and friendship - they learn to love the world

Our children learn from us.

Making Our Reward Chart

I sat my eldest daughter down and explained to her about the reward chart and told her what we were going to do and that she could help and choose what she wanted on it. She wanted a pink castle with fairys, so this is what we made. We had great fun making it, I praised her throughout the activity and we had such a good time.
We also made my youngest daughter one even though she don't really understand what a reward chart is, but she also enjoyed colouring it in. The three of us had a fun time.

Reward Chart

Here are some examples of reward charts you could make with your child.

You could make one like this



Or as simple as this





How ever you decide to make your reward chart remember to let your child help and make it FUN.

Week 5

Using Tangible Reward Programs To Teach Your Child New Behaviours

"Motivating Your Children"


Home Activities for the week

1) Continue PLAYING with your child every day for at least 10 minutes. INCREASE the number of PRAISES you give.

2) from your list of behaviours you want to see more of, select ONE to use on a REWARD SYSTEM.

3) Explain the chart system to your child, MAKE a chart together.

4) TALK to a friend or email me and share your ideas.

This week we have to make a reward chart for our children's behaviour. Make your chart fun and exciting, and let your child choose what they want on it, and let them help you make it. Also give them stickers when they have done something good.
Set rules for the reward chart Examples:
5 stars = sweets 10 stars = going to the park 20 stars = small toy 50 stars = going swimming

EXAMPLES OF BEHAVIORS TO PRAISE AND ENCOURAGE

• Sharing
  
• Talking nicely
• Complying with requests
• Good eating behavior at dinner
• Going to bed after the first request
• Playing quietly
• Solving a problem
• Turning down the TV
• Doing chores
• Coming home from school on time
• Getting up promptly in the morning
• Making it through the night without wetting the bed
• Making the bed
• Picking up clothes
• Putting toys away
• Walking slowly
• Doing homework
• Getting dressed
• Being thoughtful
• Being patient
• Being kind to another child or adult

Write a list to Praise yourself
Examples:

I can do it
I can cope with this
I can stay calm
I am doing my best
I work hard as a parent

Tell yourself these things during the day and feel good about yourself.

Continue PLAYING and PRAISING your child.

Swimming

In the school holidays I took both my children swimming. It was a fantastic day out, they both loved it so much. Since I started this course and done the things I've been told to me and my children are closer than ever.
All the time we were in the swimming pool I kept praising them on just little things they did and every time I praised them their little faces lit up and that's a good feeling when you know your child is happy just by praising them for the smallest thing that they have done.

To makes these things work you need to follow this through. It won't work if you just try it for a couple of days then give up, you have to keep it going. It is hard at first I know because I've done, but the results are fantastic. Feel free to email me I would love to help or talk to you any time.

Tomorrow I will be attending my 5th week of the course so come back tomorrow for more updates.

Spending Time Together

Since I have been doing this cause I have spent more time than usual with my child. We have been doing lots of different activities together over the Easter holidays, and I have been doing some of the exercisers I have been told from the cause. I have praised her alot more than usual and in the last couple of weeks I have seen a change in her. Her is alot more happier and she loves it when I praise her for things she has done.
The main thing I have notice is that she is speaking alot more, and she is learning more words everyday, and putting more words together. I really am over the moon about it.

Week 4

This weeks agenda was all about PRAISE. Effective ways to Praise and Encourage your child, and to bring out the best in your child. I found this week very helpful and when I got home me and my daughters make some Easter buns, and all the time we were making them I kept praising her. The difference it made was excellent. They were smiling, laughing, clapping hands, they were happy that i was praising them.
Here are a few notes i took during the lesson:

• Don't just praise perfection
• Physical contact can help to encourage/make a child feel special
• "use positive reinforces" (well done, brilliant, super)
• Be specific when using praise
• Avoid criticism/negative
• Use praise to encourage behaviours (patience)
• Don't take behaviours for granted
• Expressions-facial-smile-eye contact___Physical-cuddles-taps
• Stay positive when giving praises
• Keep things fun and enjoyable
• Praise small steps

Put some of the above into practice it will work if you want it to work it did for me.

Here are some notes about praising your child:

• Catch your child being good-don't save praise for perfect behaviour.
• Don't worry about spoiling your children with praise
• Increase praise for difficult children
• Model self-praise
• Give labeled and specific praise
• Make praise contingent on behaviour
• Praise with smiles, eye contact, and enthusiasm
• Give positive praise
• Praise immediately
• Give pats and hugs and kisses along with praise
• Use praise consistently
• Praise in front of other people

Choose 1 behaviour you would like to see more often PRAISE it every time they do, this will bring your child to do it more often.

Some Physical rewards

A pat on the ham or shoulder
A hug
Head rubbing
Squeezing the arm or wrist
Giving a kiss

This like this will make your child feel special and give them encouragement.

Speech Sounds

If your like me and you have a child who as difficulty with there speech here are a few ideas to help you and you child with their speech.

Here are some ideas I picked up from my daughters Speech Therapist.

You child will need to know about sounds, hear the difference between sounds and know where sounds go in words before they can use them in their speech. This is called "phonological awareness". These activities will help your child to listen and think about speech sounds.

• Take time to listen to your child

• Kneel or sit so that you are at eye level with your child
• Repeat back what your child has said when they have finished using the correct productions of the words
• Do not interrupt and/or correct any speech errors whilst your child is trying to tell you something

You will be showing your child how to be a good listener. Your child will know that you have listened and understood them and they will feel more confident about speaking.

• If your child does not say the sounds in a word correctly, don't correct your child just say the word back the correct way so that the child can hear how you say it.
• Encourage your child to listen, your child needs to be able to block out other noise and focus on speech. Listening is a skill which children learn. Try the following to help your child to listen

• Turn of the TV, radio, washing machine and find a quite space

• Take turns to hide a musical instrument. Can your child find the instrument by listening to where it is hidden?

• Talk about what you can hear when you are at home and out and about with your child. See how many things your child can hear when the house is quite, E.g. clock ticking, a fly, an aeroplane flying over the house, the fridge, the radio

• Listen to your child's speech to hear which sound(s) he/she has difficulty with.
  

Try playing the following games to increase your child's ability to listen for that sound.

• I spy with my little eye.......

• Treasure hunt-Find me something that starts with______(you can play this game in the house, park, beach, car ect....)

• Sorting game-put a mix of objects in a bag using objects which start with the sound your child has difficulty with and other objects. Can you child find all the objects that start with________ and put them in a separate box?

• Word games-How many words can your child think of that start with_______. The winner gets a treat!

Playing with words and the sounds in words will help your child to learn more about sounds and word patterns. This will help your child with their speech and to learn to read and write. There are three main ways we can play with words and sounds:

• Rhyming
• Sound segmenting and blending
• Syllable segmenting

The following are activities to help your child word play:
Rhyming:

• Make up silly rhymes together-"Go and sit on the table Mable" see if your child can fill in the rhyme.

• Look at rhyming stories together. When your child is familiar with the story can they finish of the rhyme. "I'm scared he said about the bear, the great big bear that lives in..........."

• Rhyme generation "what rhymes with car?"

Sounds Segmentation and Blending:
When we sound segment all we do is break up a word into it's sounds, E.g. cat- c-a-t. Sound blending is when we put those sounds back together to make a word.

• Try saying words in a silly way, separating out the sounds. Tell your child you are going to say a word in a silly way or in a robot's voice, it is something in the room they are in, see if your child can find what it is you are saying E.g. s-o-ck. Again this is a game you can play anywhere.

• Picture- Can they find the picture if you say it in a silly way/robot voice- d-o-g

Syllable Segmentation:
This is when we break up words into the beats, claps or syllables. E.g. car-1 beat, par-ty 2 beats, to-ma-to 3 beats

• Slowly clap out and new words and encourage your child to copy. This will help your child get the sounds in the word in the right order.

• Try walking or jumping in step with saying words

With all new words, clap them out, talk about the sounds you can hear and make up a rhyme to go with it. This will help your child to listen and think about sounds and also remember the new word.

All this information helped me and my child especially Syllable Segmentation we learn new words and clap them out all the time and it does help her to remember new words. Its something she doesn't get born with.

Week 3

Each member of the group read out what they had done with there child or children from the take we had the week before, and what we have changed.

This week the cause was about: Helping Your Child Learn Through Play
Promoting Your Child's Thinking Skills
Encouraging Your Child's Learning

Here are a few notes I took from the course:

• Take an active interest in your child's work
• Do a learning activity with your child everyday
• Praise and encourage your child's efforts in the right direction (not just the end product)
• Set up reward programs for doing the small steps it takes to learn something new
• Be enthusiastic about your child's school projects
• elaborate with the teacher and attend school functions
• Start with easy learning activities and gradually increase the challenge as the child seems ready
• Be realistic about your expectations-follow your child's lead in terms of what he/she is developmentally ready for
• Focus on your child's strength not his/her weaknesses
• Share something that was hard for you to learn
• Project a positive image of your child's ability in the future

More notes below from the course about building your child's self-confidence.

• Value and give your full attention to your children's play activities
• Listen to your children-watch for times when your child is open to talking-don't pressure them to talk if they don't want to
• Reinforce your children's learning efforts by describing what they are doing
• Praise your children's efforts as well as their success
• Follow your child's lead when talking to them or playing
• Spend regular daily time with your children

When Reading:

• Ask open-ended questions
• Avoid commands and corrections, offer help when he/she wants it
• Create opportunities for children to retell stories that they have memorized
• Encourage children to write their own stories or to tell them to you
• Read to children often and allow them to see you reading
• Encourage children to make up stories and act the out

For my homework this week it was to spend time with your child or children and putting the above into practice, remembering to do the activity your child wants to do.
For my home work i did writing some letters with my child, she was happy that she had learnt something new.

Your should write this down:

• Date
• Time Spent
• Activity
• Child's Response
• Parent's Response

Week 2

This week the cause was about PLAY here's a few notes i made

• Follow your child's lead
• Pace at your child's level
• Don't expect two much-give your child time
• Don't compete with your child
• Praise and encourage your child's ideas and creativity-don't criticize
• Encourage in role play and make-believe with your child
• Be an attentive and appreciate audience
• Use descriptive comments instead of asking questions
• Don't give too much help-encourage your child's problem solving
• Reward quite play with your attention
• Laugh and have fun

Read the above and put it into practice. It can only work if you want it to. Again we got some work to take home with us, and again it was to spend time with our child or children and to put the above into practise.

Week 1

First week of the cause was just telling us what we would be doing in the following weeks to come. We was each given a note book to jot information down. The first task was to write down what we wanted to get out of this cause. Now only you know what you want to get out of it.
Examples: want children to stop fighting, want to spend more time with your children, want your children to get on with each other.
Mine was to build up self esteem of child. We got a task to do at home it was to play with your child for 20 minutes doing jigsaws or colouring or what ever your child wants to do. Just get involved in what they are doing.
So i wrote in my book week 1 My Goal: Build up self esteem of child.
I then went home and through the week spent 20 minutes with my child doing different activities and she loved me spending more time with her i could see it in her face how happy she looked and how happy i felt.

Children's Needs

My eldest daughter as a speech problem, she is 4 years old nearly 5 and is at full time school. She does not speak at the level she should be speaking, and the teachers find it difficult to communicate with her. She is a shy little girl anyway, but she goes all day without speaking to anyone. Her teachers are very worried about her.
She attends speech therapy weekly and to me she is coming along well, better than she was 6 months ago. But she still won't speak at school.
School suggested i go on a Webster stratton cause. It is held at my daughters school, it is a 12 week cause and i go once a week. There are other parents there who have problems with there children weather its communication or behaviour. They give you excerisers to do at home with your child to help build that relationship with your child.
I will up date my blog every Wednesday with information about what i have learnt on the cause. Please feel free to email me with any questions and i will try my best to answer them for you.